Michelle

Then there was Michelle Baker. We were both 13. When I first saw her she was getting snowballed by Johnny Osborne on the Resurrection Trail hike. Johnny was a big hillbilly kid who had an amazing pitching arm. The day before he was snowballing Michelle Baker he was clocking ptarmigans with rocks all up the trail. Now, a ptarmigan is not a smart bird, and will just run away if you throw rocks at it. It takes a while to remember it can fly. Still though, that is a moving target, and Johnny Osborne was clocking them right and left.Read More »

For Gord So Loved the World

This is a sketch for a book I hope to someday write.

Gord created life forms on Urth thousands of years ago,  including humanoids which have evolved into humans like us. In fact, everything in this universe is like our universe, except that the existence of Gord is not in dispute. It is a scientifically confirmed fact.Read More »

I am literally going to hell

I was raised Christian, and then started opting out as a teenager. I never harbored any ill will against this upbringing or felt traumatized by it, as many people do. I tend to think of Christianity the way I do Comcast. I generally find individual members of the organization pleasant to talk to, and while the organization as a whole is distasteful to me, I spend very little time actually thinking about it, so it’s all good.

But I must be a little traumatized, because when I do think about Christianity there are certain aspects of it that make my blood pressure go up. Things like…Read More »

Ginny

Then there was Ginny Fant. Did I care that she was in fourth grade and I was in sixth? Did I care that she had 11 younger sisters (maybe it was only four) and lived in a shack in the woods? Did I care that she was a mouth breather who always had a smudge of dirt on her nose and a snot plug in one nostril? No I did not, for I was in love with her, and love is blind.Read More »

The 5 Most Awesome Things About Being Diagnosed With ALS

Being informed that you’ve got a terminal illness is no doddle in the daisies. In fact, it pretty much sucks. First of all, you just can’t believe that it could happen to you — YOU of all people! Then there are the massive changes to your lifestyle that happen, all kinds of intense emotions, and so on. And, oh god — the relatives and friends’ reactions! Please just hand me a gun (or a mallet, for you non-US citizens), and let me end it now.Read More »

Brenda

The first love of my life was Brenda Gantner, and she was perfect. The most perfect girl in the whole kindergarten. She looked like one of those child beauty queens, although that was not a thing yet. She had a cute little button nose and the straightest, silkiest long brown hair. I was deeply smitten.Read More »