For Gord So Loved the World

This is a sketch for a book I hope to someday write.

Gord created life forms on Urth thousands of years ago,  including humanoids which have evolved into humans like us. In fact, everything in this universe is like our universe, except that the existence of Gord is not in dispute. It is a scientifically confirmed fact.

Plot:

Stuff happens on Urth, just as it does in our universe, except that Gord is responsible for it. He gets a lot of blame when things go wrong, and some praise when things go right. No one questions his existence, but many are not clear on his intentions. This causes some disputes, but also a lot of apathy.

At some point Gord gets fed up with people ignoring him, and comes up with an idea. He’ll plant an emissary among the people, a hip young “son” to stir up the emotions and get people interested again.

Things go awry when Jeezu, son of Gord, starts having ideas of his own. Jeezu starts mixing radical politics in with his morality lessons. This pisses off the government, who execute him. Gord decides to give it another go, and wakes Jeezu up from the dead, sending him back to work for a little while more.

People are really not at all surprised by this. Eventually most people realize that Jeezu is nothing more than a mouth-piece for Gord, and their interest in him wanes. In a moment of exceptional marketing cleverness, Gord decides that it might be better for his ratings if Jeezu were to “disappear” mysteriously, with a promise that he’ll “return” at some point “when he’s good and ready”.

This totally works, and is further assisted by a small but zealous Jeezu fan club that has grown since shortly before Jeezu’s execution. This fan club — known as the Jeezists, proponents of Jeezism — grows exponentially following Jeezu’s disappearance and promise to return. There are lots of conspiracy theories about it, and Jeezism is instrumental in concocting and perpetuating some, while quashing others.

A couple millennia pass, and still no sign of Jeezu. However, Gord is still managing the rotation of the planet; births, deaths and freak accidents; and prayer answering/ignoring, without which the universe would immediately self destruct. (Science has confirmed that this is what would happen, and also that Gord doesn’t have to do it, and won’t stop existing even if the universe he made does. He does it because he wants to do it, because he loves his creation. Everyone understands this.)

The legend of Jeezu’s return holds on in the Jeezists, although by this time speculation about it has gotten a bit outlandish. On the other hand, many people have long since given up thinking it will actually happen, and many others doubt it was ever going to.

But what’s the real story? Will Jeezu ever return? And what is Gord’s ultimate plan for humanity, anyway? In this story, we find the answers!


Characters:

Terry is an ardent Jeez-head, a member of the Jeezists, the huge, global network of Jeezu fans, and a proponent of Jeezism, the doctrine and all-around veneration of Jeezu, son of Gord.

Brandon is Terry’s husband, an accountant, who has doubts about the claims made by Terry and her enthusiastic Jeez-head friends.

Bubba is an “A-jeezist”, and a leading member of a cult which believes that the universe was actually created by “galactic forces”, not by Gord, and that Jeezu, while a real historical figure, was just an ordinary man with a lot of charisma and a knack for borrowing and recycling catchy ideas from others. Bubba owns a book store specializing in such alternative and far-fetched ideas.

Clasky is Bubba’s business partner, and also the head of security for the A-jeezist organization. They receive a lot of death threats.

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