The Netherlands

Soon after I graduated high school in 1988, I left my family and Kenai to be an exchange student in The Netherlands, or Holland. Or Dutchlandia. Or whatever it’s called. I chose Holland mainly because all the other kids who wanted to be exchange students wanted to go to France or Germany, and I had to be different. Even so, it was hard to be that different since those were the only three countries any of us knew about. (We knew about Canada, but since that’s just Alaska with metrics, it didn’t count.)Read More »

Is anal sex a sin?

Good question! But first a joke.

What do you call a cross between a CHAIR and an IDIOT?

A CHARIOT!!!
[Soft applause]

So I’m sitting in my chariot like usual, contemplating my two favorite topics, SEX and THEOLOGY. After thorough pondering, and then literal minutes of Googling, I reached an unavoidable and totally rational conclusion:  GOD IS COOL WITH ANAL.

Now in full disclosure, I have not heard directly from God Himself on the matter, nor does His Holy Word, the Bible have much to say, contrary to popular belief! More on that in a minute. Nevertheless, by examining the FACTS and applying LOGIC, you too will see that GOD IS COOL WITH ANAL.Read More »

Eve, part 3

Fall, 1990. Eve left Fairbanks for Seattle and I left Kenai for Portland. Both of us were excited about going to art school in the big city, and looking forward to getting together as often as we could to compare notes.

It was exciting, but also there was culture shock. For starters, we couldn’t believe that it was dark by 9 PM – in August. A few months later we would agree that it was just wrong to have so much green in the winter, and what with rain instead of snow, it seemed even darker and more depressing than our homes in Alaska. Very unnatural.

And when it did snow – like twice – it didn’t stick around to make everything look pretty. It turned to freezing rain and covered everything like a glazed doughnut. It paralyzed the whole city. Nobody knew what to do, or especially how to drive. A couple of snowflakes and everyone turned into quivering ninnies. What kind of place was this?Read More »