Letter to myself as a young man, aged 20

Dear Mark,

Dude. It’s me/you! Told you I would write you again. I have to say though, I’m a little disappointed. It looks like you didn’t take any of my advice from before. You got that letter right? Just in case you didn’t, I’m enclosing it here. Some of that stuff will still be useful. I’ll wait for you to read it if you haven’t already.Read More »

Next life to-do list

There are a few things I’ve been meaning to do through the years that I just haven’t gotten around to doing, and now time is running out and it looks like I won’t get to do them. And anyway, I would need to ascend to quite a lofty position of power to get them done, say dictator of America for example, and that in itself would take more time than I have left. I’m hoping that reincarnation is a real thing, so I can get cracking on this to do list when I come back as a despot next time around.

Read More »


Men have a blob of ectoplasmic sexual energy called phlogiston that originates in their lower abdomen and pulsates in there, waiting to be released. The common term for phlogiston is “horniness”, and as you know, it increases over time. When you have sex or jerk off, the phlogiston hitches a ride on your semen and goes shooting out of your johnson, and you feel better. If you go too long without having sex or jerking off, the phlogiston builds up and you start to feel uncomfortable.Read More »

For Gord So Loved the World

This is a sketch for a book I hope to someday write.

Gord created life forms on Urth thousands of years ago,  including humanoids which have evolved into humans like us. In fact, everything in this universe is like our universe, except that the existence of Gord is not in dispute. It is a scientifically confirmed fact.Read More »